Domestic Violence is Healable

Domestic violence is

Two people's hands intertwined across a table in a supportive and loving gesture.

Healing can happen on many levels

Domestic violence is a personal experience, but its root causes go far beyond any individual person—and the opportunities to promote healing aren’t limited just to individuals, either.

Society can develop alternatives to criminal justice

Build healing into accountability

A middle aged asian man puts his arm around another middle aged asian man, both seen from behind looking out a window.

We all benefit when we hold harm-doers accountable AND help them to heal.

Restorative justice is a way to repair harm without involving the criminal legal system. Most Californians support the idea of using restorative justice as a path to healing from domestic violence, because in other crimes, it gets results:

Repeat offenses go down

Restorative justice

18%

Traditional criminal justice

27%

Survivors are more satisfied

Restorative justice

79%

Traditional criminal justice

57%

Learn about restorative justice

Visit these organizations to learn more about restorative justice approaches to domestic violence.

The Collective Healing and Transformation (CHAT) Project Alliance for Boys and Men of Color Homeboy Industries California Health Report

70%

of people who cause harm through domestic violence have also experienced it themselves, as survivors or witnesses.

Communities can use their knowledge

Value community solutions

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Domestic violence affects every community in California—differently

Our cultural beliefs and traditions shape how domestic violence shows up in our communities, and domestic violence has different impacts depending on a community's access to resources. When it comes to healing from domestic violence, one size does not fit all. We can and should create solutions that respect deep cultural knowledge.

Tell us how your community heals

How do problems like domestic violence get solved in your community?

To: Blue Shield of California Foundation

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“

Sooner or later, we all discover that kindness is the only strength there is.

”

-Father Gregory Boyle, Founder of Homeboy Industries

Governments can adopt holistic approaches

Help the whole person

Two older white men in suits in a government hearing room, seen from behind

Systems work better when they work together

None of us live single-issue lives, so we need to move away from single-issue services. To be most effective, governments need to design systems that help the whole person and the whole family. Instead, many of our current systems—for housing, health, financial security, and domestic violence—are set up in silos, and rarely coordinate well. Our systems need to be interconnected, like real life.

Learn about holistic approaches

Visit these organizations to learn more about the work that is happening to encourage governments and other systems to work more holistically and effectively.

California Partnership to End Domestic Violence Futures Without Violence VALOR – Advancing Equity. Ending Sexual Violence.

Families can build healthier relationships

Strengthen connections

A young Latinx child smiling in the foreground, with her two mothers in the background smiling and looking at her

What elements make relationships healthier?

Most of us never get a class on what it means to be a good partner, parent or friend, but being in a relationship is a skill we all can learn.

Open sharing and genuine listening between all people in the relationship (even in conflict)

Trust is a key part of healthy relationships, and honesty (with healthy boundaries and some privacy) builds trust.

Affection can take many forms. However it is expressed, knowing the other person in the relationship cares deeply builds strong bonds.

Mutual respect is present when both people feel that who they are, what they think, and what they need is heard and valued.

Reflect on your relationships

What aspects of your relationships are you most proud of? It’s good to talk to your loved ones about what makes you feel happy and supported in your relationships, and what things you’d like to work on.

If you’re concerned that your relationship may be impacted by domestic violence, there are resources to help. One place to start:

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Healing is a path to prevention

Every time a survivor, family member and harm-doer is able to heal, it stops a cycle of violence. The impact these cycle-breakers have on the world ripples outwards—healing for one generation is prevention for the next.

Domestic violence is

everywhere